Letting Go..

 It's been the summer of Letting Go...things, relationships, habits....34 years of accumulation....

I remember when I first came to Alaska at the tender age of 21. The need to have a piece of property, a home, was so strong,  someplace to call my own, to  raise a family. It was all I wanted. In one of my teacher ed classes,  I wrote a paper on the "Development of the Need to Possess". Exploring the concept from when a 2yr. old  begins with 'mine' to the writing of a will to disperse all that one has accumulated over the years. The need to 'possess' in our society is fascinating.   After much angst, we did find the perfect piece of property in Bear Valley outside of Anchorage, and began building our humble home. Over the years, the the possessions came and went; all the baby paraphernalia, the toddler toys and all the remnants of living and  raising boys. The boys are now young adults, exploring their own needs for possession.

With the second toe of my left foot sporting a 4 inch pin to cure a hammer toe, I spent the summer going through every file, every box of memorabilia, every piece of clothing, every possession in my home. Not having moved in almost 30 years allowed for much accumulation. There were some things I was glad I saved, but most of them, I wondered why I did. Now that I'm done, it feels wonderful.

It was letting go of relationships that was oh so hard. The people in my life, the friends that have become my family, some I've only known for a couple years, others for much longer. Perhaps it's because I don't have much of family that friends are so important to me. I've surrounded myself with positive, supportive, loving people. I've had many an adventure, much laughter and memorable events. It's hard knowing that the adventures, laughter and events will continue without me. But I'm secure in knowing that most of my friendships will endure my international wanderlust.

Living in Alaska has given me a sense of place, a sense of belonging. Soon after arriving on a vacation in the Fall of '77, I knew it was where I belonged. I love it's depth and its breadth; its vistas, its remoteness. It was where  I found unconditional  love as well as unconsolable sorrow and became the woman I am. I will always be an Alaskan in my heart and soul.

So now I'm down to 2 suitcases. I have all I need. I have tied up all the loose ends of the past 34 years of living and am open to whatever the universe has in mind for me.